I used to think I’m set up for failing. Statistics told me so many things: Those “shy and insecure people” rarely had success. As entrepreneurs? Heaven forbid! Having a successful business was rare even without this – most people would struggle or fail completely such a risky endeavour. Oh, and 90% of coaches can’t make a living of their job anyway. And so on… Well, I got as much: statistics hate me and rational thought teaches you to believe in statistics. Now, this is my take on how coaching magic defies statistics anyway.
I’m not talking luck.
Of course you can decide to hope and dream (big, please) – and indeed be lucky. But today I’m talking hand-made success. The one that doesn’t show in the statistics. The one which is a sure-fire way, the non-sexy, non-obvious, and non-easy kind. And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way again. Ever. And – hint: This is about Coaching.
So, in aforementioned sure-fire way, coaching gets you all the magic you crave. You can get rock solid confidence as a grown-up, too. Learning as lightly and unthinking (and at least as fast!) as a kid. Changing things from the bottom up, including “yourself” (disclaimer: Coaching makes you the shiniest version of yourself – no need to change anymore ????)
So today, I’m talking just a few hands-on concepts of coaching that defy any statistic probabilities.
No 1: Create the right kind of goal.
If you set yourself a goal to revolutionize social media, being a multibillionaire or whatever huge, and please within a short amount of time – you guessed it – you’ll most likely fail and feed the statistics monster. But this is NOT because you set yourself the wrong goal, it’s because of how you frame success and failure. If you deem yourself only successful IF you reached certain, very ambitious goals, you’ve got a problem. Because you lose sight of the path and the value within that path. It’s dead important to have a big vision, yes. It’s just as important to enjoy the journey, celebrate your small successes and be ready to see where your path leads, seize the opportunities. You craft your own success and it is SO non-statistically-diagnosable.
No 2: Invest. Lots. And not (just) money.
I don’t talk seriously big money here. I talk the right kind of money, time and energy. Speaking of coaching: Most people are not willing to get themselves a coach. Not any coach, a four- to five-figure coach, well worth his/her money. Such a coach won’t take you on just because you’ve got the money, but only work with you if you’re ready to go deep, question yourself, learn and grow. Which are all necessary if you want to go beyond the random statistics of success without the evasive bit of luck.
Oh, p.s. Be ready to invest a lot more time and energy than you’re reckon with in the first place.
No 3: Take responsibility. No matter how unsexy.
That’s an especially counterintuitive one, but real coaching magic only unfolds when you’re ready to take 100% responsibility – for yourself, your life, your relationship, your business… you get it. Also: For how you show up. For your emotions. (I said it wasn’t the easy way!). Even for how you look at “bad luck” or other things that “just happen to happen”. For who you choose to spend your time with, or how your patterns work out. The toughest one: Taking responsibility doesn’t mean blaming (yourself or others). It means to look at stuff and divide what’s your part, your blindspots, and work on it/them. Which definitely is way too complex to meaningfully squeeze it into any statistical measurement. (Also too complex to take it on without someone to support you, my coach claims, and I’m very inclined to say he’s right.)
Bottom line: Fuck statistics and do it anyway.
Don’t let yourself hold back from what seems “likely” or not. Play it smart instead. Get the support you need. Don’t throw it all away just to follow THE next big thing. Don’t trade (allegedly) unsexy for white-knuckle thrill – but this is worth its own article, so let me finish for today.