We can all have a much, much bigger life than we currently live – if we choose to. With bigger I’m not necessarily talking more money. I’m talking stuff like more meaning, a spacious day-to-day experience, more fulfilling relationships or “just” feeling less stressed, confident and at choice in our own life. There are a couple things that tend to get in the way though:
#1 you don’t realise a bigger thing is available
I notice this quite often in my conversations with people. “I don’t have a dream”. “Maybe later when I’ve got X, Y, Z done.” “I’m content.” Are you catching yourself thinking that, too?
First of all: That is perfectly fine (and I really mean that). Secondly: I promise, this is going to be the same once you finally got X,Y,Z handled. What I am curious about here: Is “content” really what you want to settle for in life?
What if you allowed yourself to explore your own desires instead? It may well be possible you don’t know you have any right now. It may well be you stuff them somewhere else “because impossible”, and so often this is the first stumble block: You don’t even think of what else could be available.
#2 your success strategies make you blind
It’s a funny thing that one: You thrive in life because you adopted a strategy. We all do. One of my strategies for example is to be really picky and mindful with who I choose to spend my time with – then shower them with love and attention.
This has led to awesome friendships and many open doors. It has benefitted me and kept me safe. And: Whilst I saw some of it at play, it was completely invisible to me that it was a strategy – and thus choice – in the first place.
Every one of us has his or her own set of strategies, and with it come its unique blindspots. I mean, how should I be open to the possibility of love and connection being abundant when attributing my success to pickiness and scarcity?
Yet I had a deep desire for more connection in my life, and that’s exactly the point: Our desires are impossible within the narrative of our strategies and their blindspots. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Otherwise we would have gone and made them happen a long time ago.
#3 you don’t have a catalyst
As long as we simmer in our own invisible story, there are things we likely won’t do, or at least never do consistently without support to see beyond. Instead, we will always act as a function of our strategies, and they can show up in more ways we can imagine it grasp.
A good example could be money: If you hold money as a scarce resource, you might hold on it really tight, getting richer and richer, but instead of feeling it’s abundant, you only have more to protect. Or you go on shopping sprees as soon as you finally have any, only to end up with money being actually tight again.
How should you ever spot your own strategy of it shows up in seemingly completely opposite ways? Without someone gently pointing out what’s going on, you’ll likely be stuck in your strategies forever. Which again isn’t a problem, but a choice, and as long as no one helps you see it, you may never realise there is any in the first place.