I am what most people would call exceptionally smart. I learn lightning-fast. I connect all sorts of likely and unlikely things to create an unexpected outcome. I know lots and lots of stuff.
For a long time I thought this really cool. After all, it gives me a set of real badass skills. I can solve you any problem. I am going to develop systems to work through complex issues lightning fast.
Sounds arrogant? Well, wait until you know the downside. It took much more time for me to see that being this way takes things away. Lots.
It is so much easier for me to react to a situation than to actively create. After all, creation requires decisions. Countless ones. And the more you know, you see, and the easier you adapt to something new – the harder those decisions become.
Take publishing, because that’s my present challenge. When I decided to take on writing, I also developed a desire to create the coolest thing of them all.
It already starts with the subject. Stuff seems either trivial or people already have talked about it. Lots. Where’s the new and unique connection everyone has waited for?
The medium. Video or text? Something with paint? Compose some cool piece of music? What would people love, what would I love (most), what would change the world? Who still reads? Who would watch me on video? … And it goes down right down to the single words I use.
Care for an insight? I already find myself questioning the title of this little text. Is it concise enough? Is it logical enough? Do people get it? Do they take something substantial from it? Is it egomaniac?
Mix in a couple of critical thoughts, either. “It’s arrogant to show up this way, and hey, you used this word above, already.” “You telling people how smart you are and then creating mediocre bullshit like this one, really?” “You can do better than that.”
Well, yes, I probably can. But then I end up editing for hours, losing joy and, you probably guessed it, not publishing anything, or at least not regularly. I might create some sort of a masterpiece (in my eyes) – but who says it’s going to work? Who defines “enough”?
I so wish I saw less, knew less, needed less and could just DO more. Being smart hasn’t been cool, it’s been a curse for me, but I’m done with it. Instead, I’m going to go on an official mission to create bullshit every day.
So be prepared for some potentially funny reading and realising how incredibly human even the supposedly “smarter” ones of us are )