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Anna Huwiler

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You think if you just explain things a little bett You think if you just explain things a little better, they will finally get you and the argument will resolve.Like that other night when you came home late and slept in the guestroom to not disturb them – which gave them a nasty shock: an empty bed next to them in the middle of the night. The next morning, you argue. You cannot understand why they don’t get that you meant well. That they would have woken up when you came in, which they hate, too. However beautiful your argument – it gets them more upset.The thing is, it’s so easy to miss the point: Instead of getting curious how it felt, saying sorry for the shock and finding a better agreement for next time, you build a watertight case. It’s what you do best and it comes naturally, having grown up believing you need to bring the best argument to get heard – and loved. But who is this really for? It’s *your* emotional protective suit to save *you* from blame. From admitting your choice wasn’t as ideal as you thought. From being the villain, which wasn’t your intention at all. And while this is 100% understandable and human, it also – unfortunately - won’t bring you closer to your partner. Even knowing this won’t save you next time: The part that already knows isn’t the one that shows up in the heat of the argument. Now imagine noticing the moment it tips *in time*, and instead of building the next argument you stop yourself and can genuinely (!) say: “That must have felt shit for you, and I’m really sorry”.Now DM me “script” to get a stupidly good process for free. It helps you fix the arguing for real instead of trying more of the same.
I can see you, finishing something in 5 minutes th I can see you, finishing something in 5 minutes that took someone else a day. Feeling sneaky, a little guilty and wondering whether you might be a fraud.  My guess is that usually, you don’t let yourself truly enjoy that moment.What you forget in this moment is that more often than not, you find yourself on the very, very other end of that scale: Frantically trying to get done what you can, because no one else can jump in and replace your expertise. Taking on more than you can sustainably deliver to help someone: Saying yes to another project, to the friend who always calls you, the favour your kid wants to cash in. But you’re so used to that struggle that it feels way more normal than having the space. So while in theory you *could* work less, in practice you don’t. You feel obligated and pressured instead, end up running most of the day.You know what I’m wondering? What if you tried to do less busywork than anyone else, and gave your mind the space to witch up more of these brilliant 5min solutions? My secret suspicion is that everyone would win. What’s your guess?Next time you finish something in 5 minutes, let yourself enjoy it for another five minutes before you pick up the next thing. DM me “compass” and I’ll send you my audio masterclass on why speed can feel like cheating, and what to do with it.
You might not like it, but the biggest difference You might not like it, but the biggest difference is to get brutally honest with yourself. Let’s be clear: I would NEVER tell people to do this alone, but because I promised to tell you: that honesty IS the first and most powerful lever.Here’s why: When you have spiralled into a life where everyone else has a bigger say than yourself, you live a life for THEM rather than for yourself and that’s exactly the feel you get: Like you run around for other people’s needs and wants, losing sight of what yours would look like. Worse, feeling like yours aren’t equally valid.You hear yourself say “whatever works for you” so often that when someone finally asks what you’d actually love, you go blank.You prioritize them, so how would you ever feel like your life really is yours?Only if you manage to take a step back and look at how things *really are* can you begin to spot how and where you abandon yourself. And that’s not an easy feat: After years of pleasing others – and getting rewarded for it! – your system won’t recognise “living my own life” as safe. Quite the opposite: It will feel risky and dangerous. So that lever isn’t something that sits there waiting for you to push it. It’s more like you shift your whole world view, figuring bit by bit that what your mind made “safe” over the years is actually small and not for YOU.Can you see why most people never work up the courage (let alone the trust in themselves – how? After having trusted everyone else MORE in the last decades…) to actually take stock? The shame lurks just around the corner. And that’s why great coaching makes it so much better:Imagine someone helping you to walk with the step size you can actually cope with. The one that gives you hope, increases your courage and helps you see it’s not about “shit why did I mess up so badly”- never. Instead it’s about using the gifts and everything you did well, taking them and shaping them into the next thing you want: A life that really feels like YOURS.DM me “compass” and I’ll send you my free audio masterclass built to give you a deeper understanding and the first small action steps towards that l
Been thinking “If only my to-do list was empty, I Been thinking “If only my to-do list was empty, I could have the life I want”?Stop that. It’s a trap – for several reasons:1️⃣ The list will NEVER be 100% finished. Let’s face it: to-do’s pop up left and right as soon as the list gets smaller. Either something new jumps around the corner, or your mind provides all these *other* things you could do with just a little more space.2️⃣ You postpone enjoyment and living life NOW with an unfinished list in the back of your mind, because the unfinished list in the back of your mind takes away that possibility. You never learnt to live the life you really want to have without getting the list done *first*3️⃣ Chasing the idea of a life that has to be perfect to be enjoyable is a really bad idea to begin with. The “sufficiently empty to-do list” is one aspect of this bigger problem getting in your way: the belief that life needs to be a certain way for you to be able to calm down and enjoy whatever it has to offer you, whilst accepting what doesn’t look great.The inner calm you’re chasing will show up with the list half-full. You’re at the table with your family, fully here with them. You go on a walk with your dog, breathing in the crisp air. You read the latest novel from your favourite author, cuddled up in bed… all whilst the list stays in the drawer (literal AND mental drawer!). Once you have learnt to just sit with the thoughts popping up left & right, they subside and that’s when the peace sets in. It might seem impossible right now, but I promise, we can work our way there. DM me “peace” and I’ll send you an article to understand even better how you get trapped in the rush.

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  • about
  • work with me
    • the no BS leadership course
    • the change work intensive
    • the true north rebel – high flame 1:1
  • start here
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