Have you been stunned how others just… speak? They dare to say simple, even “stupid” things without a shred of nuance – and people actually listen. Meanwhile, you don’t even know where to start. You get lost in what is most important (which feels like everything, somehow) and what must be included to paint the full picture.
lost in nuance, lost for words
Because you struggle to compromise on which of a myriad of things to say, you stay silent. You don’t publish that piece, you don’t speak up in a meeting, or you don’t tell your boss what you really see. While it frustrates the heck out of you, your own complexity has reliably stopped you from speaking up with confidence. Like when you want to explain why you wouldn’t choose that strategy, but the reasons why range from geopolitics to people’s personality.
Imagine being asked to spontaneously speak about the top 3 issues of a complex topic – in front of other people. Your brain will freeze! How could you possibly know the top 3 within seconds? You’ll feel like trying to pluck a single thread from a massive, interconnected tapestry without unravelling the whole thing.
I’ve been there – brought to tears in a speaking intensive for that exact reason. Those tears held a breakthrough that is valid for you, too: Turns out, people come up with random shit and declare it the “top 3”. They just don’t make it that big of a deal and just choose. So why does it feel so different to us bright brainers?
Your brain works differently
When you sit down and it’s just so. hard to write even a single article, or make a cause for the next meeting, listen to this: I used to describe accessing my own knowledge like trying to scale an iceberg without the tools. I would slip again, and again, trying to extract one aspect out of a million connected ones. They are connected so deeply, so intricately, that I couldn’t “just talk about a single thing” without a whole world opening up. A world that needed explaining for others to really get that one thing right.
It took me until that intensive to truly grasp this isn’t how it works for most people. The brighter the brain, the more multidimensional it gets. Thinking patterns literally change in quality – going from linear to network. Because of that, translating something from your inner complex world out into a couple of sentences is a monumentous undertaking more often than not.
Simplify until it hurts
Essentially, even with a complex mind, you need to do exactly what others do in this situation: Come up with random shit, too. Be willing to NOT explore every single connection and nuance and trust what’s on the forefront of your mind. However, “get it over with” is not the end all be all. The art is not in resigning, but in building a bridge between your inner reality and theirs in a way that doesn’t feel like betraying yourself.
meet the world where it is
You need to realise the heartbreak in this: Most people around you don’t have the the capacity to bear with you and understand the intricacies the way you do. Like when you see a project’s fatal flaw six months out, but your team happily celebrates the launch of the pilot. They won’t listen and you can’t say it.
Here’s the hard fact: You’re smarter than let’s say 95% of the people out there. And while you can (and should!) find others hanging out in these 5%, you must meet the world as is if you want to make an impact. So ultimately, while the heartbreak is real, look at the choice you have here: Is it more important to be beautiful but silent – or do you want to prioritise the impact you can have? Are willing to have some shit hit the fan?
Build bridges, not walls
Instead of trying to explain and make the beautiful world inside you as transparent and visible as possible, focus on building select bridges instead.
Here’s a crucial piece you need to understand: The world is incredibly messy and complex. No matter how much sense it all makes sense within you – it’s still a simplification of the reality. It’s ONE way (albeit an elaborate one) to look at the world. One human brain, no matter how brilliant, simply cannot ever fathom all that is out there. So even your incredible inner model is simple compared to the full reality out there.
So based on the fact that we all – even the brightest amongst us – simplify things, what if we needed to ask different questions:
What if it actually didn’t matter all that much what you said, and how well it connected within your brain? What if the bridge itself – the relationship – mattered by far the most? If the mutual connection and getting things to work in “just about the right direction” – was more than enough? Actually more, because it allowed you to take action together with other people and that led to real-life results. As opposed to concepts that are incredible and wonderful, yet only exist in your head?
Your brain and your ideas have to meet reality and relationships, get – inevitably – reshaped by them to create literal value and change in the world.
You don’t need to dumb yourself down
Yes, if you now go, and randomly pick your top 3 points, you will lose depth and nuance in the moment. But not only becomes your work more palpable and people more excited – you actually can trust your own depth to show without you trying so hard. Here’s why:
First, your top three won’t be as random as you might think. Because you do have that intricate inner system, you will automatically come up with relevant points. Second, the words you choose (and if you speak live your whole demenaour) are surprisingly different from someone who doesn’t have your nuances available. Lastly, the more you say or write, the more depth you will create through the body of your work, in a way even the most brilliant article or explanation never could.
Even in a single “superficial” article or short talk, the unusual connections you make will show and make the right people more curious. You can start anywhere and it will still be a reflection of who you are and what you know. What’s missing isn’t a number of (the right) words – what you lack is trust in yourself and your intellect.
your bridge building 101:
It won’t be easy to suddenly trust yourself and speak up like you never even had this issue. You must practice what goes against your instincts: Make a decision based on insufficient data. Let things get messy when your idea meets the real world. Accept being misunderstood in the process.
The gift on the other end of it is beautiful. You will find that bridges actually exist – without you having to dumb yourself down. It’s way more about being willing to choose one small facet, and trust that it’s the right choice. And then you discover that all of what you know will bloom and flourish because you gift others with your presence – and in the end, your impact gets to be bigger and more beautiful than you ever imagined it while being on your own.
To finish up, here are a few questions you can ask yourself when you get stuck:
- What would you say if it just didn’t matter all that much and you were free?
- What would you say if you had a guarantee it would bring you 5% closer to your goal each time you said something?
- What would you say if saying anything at all would help people to understand you?
- What would you say if you trusted that even in one sentence, the essential would get conveyed?
I can’t wait for you to discover what sharing your beautiful knowing has in store for you and the world. Also, if this gets too messy and doesn’t end up being fun – reach out for support, because as simple as it might sound: It’s hard to consistently go against your own deep programming, and this is a big one.
p.s. Curious for more? Sign up below and get the complexity compass – a free audio masterclass doing a deep dive into deep minds – for those who feel like a statistical outlier with their depth and complexity.
